Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Proud To Be A Yankee Fan

As some of you might remember, I am a big Yankee fan. Spare me the 'Evil Empire' BS. I love the team, I love the stadium, I love the history, I love the Bronx, I love Torre, I love Donnie Baseball, I love Freddy, I love it all.

And today, I love it all just a little bit more.

Yesterday morning, before leaving for work, I heard that Dick Cheney was going to be making an appearance at the Yankees - Red Sox game. I rolled my eyes, knowing that I would have to endure one more non-local politician trying to use my team for political gain. For a brief instant, I indulged in a bit of fantasy, asking my wife the (of course rhetorical) question, "how awesome would it be if the crowd just totally booed Cheney?" She chuckled politely in agreement, but we both knew it wasn't a likely scenario.

Baby, don't ever underestimate the power of the New York Yankees to make your dreams come true...

Last night, during the seventh inning stretch, as Ronan Tynan belted out "God Bless America," it happened. Like something out of my liberal, baseball-loving dreams, the unthinkable became reality. Cheney's grizzled mug popped up on the Yankee Stadium scoreboard and the crowd let out a resounding denunciation, booing him until the image changed to something less objectionable.

You have no idea how proud I am of my team right now.

posted by Scott | 6/30/2004 | |

Monday, June 28, 2004

CONFIRMED: Bush Is Corny As Hell

This is how Condi Rice let Dubya know that the Iraqi handover had taken place:

Are you joking? 'Let Freedom Reign!'?!?! REALLY? If this guy was my dad, I'd be so embarrassed right now.

First of all, I'm shocked that Bush knew how to spell 'reign' off the top of his head. No, seriously -- I have to give it some thought and I'm a pretty good speller. (Sidenote: What the hell is he doing with a Sharpie in his pocket anyway?)

And 'freedom'?!?! What a joke! Then again, I guess 'Let Terror Continue To Make Iraqis Live In Endless Fear!' wasn't really going to cut it. Neither was 'Let US-Imposed Martial Law Reign If We So Desire!'

Sovereignty and freedom are two different things, Dubs. Just ask Ashcroft.

posted by Scott | 6/28/2004 | |

Self Congratulatory Schmucks

Well, NATO's in, Bremer's out, and the interim government is in place, but I doubt things are going to improve in the short-term. Any predictions from me would be pure conjecture.

Regarding the above photos, I have two rhetorical questions.

One: What the hell do those two think they have to shake hands about?

Two: Did this remind anyone else of those episodes of Gilligan's Island where an outsider would make it on to the island only to be rescued -- alone -- at the end of the episode from both the island and its crazy ass occupants? Just wondering...

Anyway, before Bremer left Iraq, he did take some time to tie up some loose ends. For example, he put into place a seven-member commission with the power to disqualify any political party or candidate it doesn't like. He also banned any taxation above a minimal 15% rate. I'm hearing rumors that they're using Iraq to conduct a limited market-testing of the proposed GOP 2004 Party Platform, but who knows...

As far as why the handover took place two says early in complete secrecy, the explanation that they wanted to throw off militants seems plausible enough. However, there is a small matter of a missing $20 billion in Iraqi oil revenues that remains unaccounted for. I was wondering why Bremer needed an entire C-130 for his hush-hush 'get out of Dodge' routine...

posted by Scott | 6/28/2004 | |

Sunday, June 27, 2004

GOP = Fucking Hypocritical Fascists

I've had it. I've fucking had it. These sick fucks have got to go and they've got to go right fucking now.

(Gee, Cheney's right... using the word 'fuck' in confronting your enemies does make you feel better!)

The 'fuck you' or 'fuck yourself' or whatever the fuck Cheney said to Sen. Leahy the other day really got my blood boiling. I certainly didn't need it, but this nutso outburst on the floor of the US Senate certainly provided a nice confirmation of what an asshole Dick Cheney is.

It especially pissed me off considering how the White House and the GOP freaked out over John Kerry's dropping of the f-bomb in referring to Team W's handling of Iraq. Remember that? Last year in Rolling Stone, Kerry asked, "Did I expect George Bush to fuck it up as badly as he did? I don't think anybody did."

The GOP freaked out! The Wall Street Journal called his comments "potty-mouthed." White House chief of staff Andy Card said he was "very disappointed" in Kerry's choice of words. Oh, boo fucking hoo! Where the fuck are these assholes in condemning Cheney? Who's 'very disappointed' now? Certainly not GOP Senate leader Bill Frist. Certainly not George 'Major-league asshole' Bush. Andy Card's been remarkably silent.

But forget the f-word. How about comparing the other side to Hitler?

When ran a contest last year asking for the best homemade 30-second anti-Bush TV spot participants could come up with, the entries were all over the map. Some were good, some were great, some were mediocre, and some were awful. In the mediocre-to-awful category were two ads that compared Bush to Adolf Hitler. It was more than a bit over the top. Rightly, the GOP complained and pulled the ad.

That wasn't enough for the GOP, though. They had to make outrageous claims that the ads had somehow been paid for or sponsored directly by MoveOn and even the Democratic Party. Nothing could have been further from the truth and they knew it. But they didn't care. It would make Democrats look bad and that's all they wanted to accomplish.

Betting that the American voting public is too stupid to notice the hypocrisy, the GOP has now come out with their own ad -- SPONSORED AND PAID FOR THE BUSH-CHENEY REELECTION CAMPAIGN AND FEATURED ON THE FRONT PAGE OF GEORGEWBUSH.COM -- that compares Democrats like John Kerry, Howard Dean, and Al Gore (the REAL President of the United States) to Hitler. At the end of the ad, juxtaposing Hitler with prominent Democrats, is the phrase "This is not a time for pessimism and rage."

But you know what? It damn well is a time for rage. Pessimism? Hell no! What do I have to be pessimistic about? John Kerry is going to trounce Dubya in November. But until then, I will rage.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party has raped the federal budget, doling out tax cuts for the wealthy at the expense of long-term economic solvency.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party have gutted environmental laws and made the United States more dependent on Middle Eastern oil.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party led the American people into war in Iraq on false pretenses and failed to provide soldiers with a plan for keeping the peace when 'major combat operations' had ended.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party took their focus off of smashing al Qaeda and the global terrorist network in order to go settle old scores.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party kowtow to corrupt corporate interests, the dictatorial Saudi monarchy, and pseudo-religious armageddon fetishists.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party manipulate language and policy in an Orwellian manner that plays to the basest interests and desires of the American electorate.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party use their power and influence to marginalize minority groups not only at the polls, but in every day life.

I will rage against the way George W. Bush and the Republican Party are trying to write discrimination right into the greatest document in human history -- the Constitution of the United States of America.

I will rage against George W. Bush and the Republican Party and do everything in my power to make sure that they lose control of the White House and the Congress.

Is this a time for rage?

Fuck yes.

posted by Scott | 6/27/2004 | |
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